Hello everyone! I hope this finds you all well. Today, I am going to talk about being a Mom. More specifically, being a Mom to one. I will go ahead and say it. This is just my experience in raising a boy, only child, and so on. Is the way I parent the right way? Is there a right way?! I raise my son with God's guidence and what my husband and I think is best. You raise yours the way you see fit! ;-) this is just my thoughts, ideas, and what I have personally experienced.
Now that we got that out of the way, I should probably give a little background on my "Mom Life". My husband and I got married March of one year. That April I found out I was pregnant. That December we were parents. (In case you didn't catch it. That is how this blog got that name. March to December. Also, you can read about Z's birth story HERE.) That was nearly 8 years ago.
That is right. We have one kid who is going to be 8. I do get that question, often actually. "When are you going to have another kid?" or "When are you going to have Z a little brother/sister?" Personally, I wouldn't ever ask anyone that. That is a really personal choice. Does it upset me when people ask?! No. I understand why they are. In this day and age, people do not usually just have one child.
My sister has 3 (all boys!), I just have the one child, some of my friends have 2, some of them have more than 3, and some of them do not have any at all. All of us have made a personal choice! Our choice comes from many stand points. Some of which include financial and medical. We would be happy with another child! In fact we were in the talks of adopting a little girl. That fell through though. So, it isn't that we don't want other children. It just hasn't happened. That being said, I am 110% happy being just Z's momma.
Being a parent is a lot of work. Being a parent of more than once child is a crazy amount of work to me. You are constantly being pulled in multiple directions. I know that as humans we tend to look at other's life as "greener on the other side." While parenting just one child isn't as busy as multiple children. It isn't all naps, tv binge watching, and sexy time. This is what I learned being a mom of 1.
- I am my child's playmate: It isn't his choice that he is an only child & does not have siblings to play with. No one wants to see their child sad & lonely. I do tell him, "not right now". In fact, I don't have a problem with telling him that. It is good for a child to hear, "no"! However, I have played more Xbox, Lego's, Star Wars, & Ninja Turtles since he has been born than I did playing Barbies growing up. He isn't always going to want to hang out with his parents. I try to sap all those moments up now.
- You have to say no...a lot: No parent like to tell their child no. I find that as a mom of just one boy, I have a harder time saying no. Like I want to make up for him not having a sibling by giving him everything he wants, entertaining him at all times, and trying to make him happy. I constantly have to police myself with that. Being a "yes-mom" can have terrible outcomes. I don't want to raise a boy to a man who thinks everything he wants (good or bad) he should get. Makes me shutter to think about that!!
- He is my only hope for grand-babies!: When you only have the one child & not at least an "heir and a spare", you are putting your grandparent future in their hands. What if they don't want to have kids?! What if they cannot have kids?! So on and so forth. One of the best things about parenting is being able to help with your grand-babies when you are older.
Okay, so there are many many many more things that come to raising just one kid. I will save them for a later date though. I am asking you now. What have you noticed about raising one kid? Or even yet, when you had your 2nd, 3rd and so on child. What differences did you notice? I really would like to know these things!