Okay. So, today I was asked:
"What is your dream job, and why?"
I really had to think about that one. I am guessing from the title of my blog post, you can kind of figure out where I am going with this. I thought about if I could do any job out of the house, what would it be. I, of course, would still love to be an interpreter for the deaf or a history teacher. Are those something that I would consider a "dream job"? Possibly. More likely, I would have considered them my dream job about 6 years ago.
What changed 6 years ago? If you have read more than one post on this blog, you should know what that is. I became a mother 6 years ago. Well, nearly 6 and a half years ago really. (Man! With the time flying!) When I became a mother, I became a new person. I became a better person. At heart, La'Shawn is a very selfish person. I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. Being a mother makes me want to do what others want to do when they want to do it. Also, putting myself out for the good of them as well.
Since becoming a mother, I wanted to be a stay at home mom. It was my dream. It is what I ached for. I wanted to be there when Z woke up, to kiss his boo-boo's, to teach him to walk, potty train him, and tuck him in at night. That just wasn't a possibility.
Then Z started school. I thought that want, or ache, would go away. Or ease up. It did for a while. Then I started noticing things. Z is a hyper, imaginative, and easily distracted little boy. That being said, he is also bright, happy, and eager to learn!! I started seeing frustration and minor changes in him. I started hearing things from his teacher that I had dreaded hearing since I started seeing his easily distracted ways at age 3.
I don't try to be that mother that thinks my child hung the moon, that my child is perfect, that is is just the school system's problem and not my child's or my own. I am not naive or stupid. I know that our lax structured life has lead to him being the way he is. I also know that he is my child. I lived a very structured life growing up and I was also easily distracted as a child...still am.
I read THIS article about standardized testing and the stress it causes children. It was like a slap in the face. My child, in kindergarten, is doing pre algebra! PRE ALGEBRA people! He was sent home work such as " 10 - __ = 7". In freaking kindergarten. All this so that when he does his standardize testing in a few months, he will be up to their standards. All this in a class full of 30 kids and very little individual attention. The individual attention my child thrives on. (He is an only child after all) It makes me sick to my stomach. I cannot imagine what it does to him.
It takes every ounce of not to imprint my worries on him. I also understand that schools are limited. That they have to do these test to get the money the government has allotted them. That the money is spread thin. I am not ignorant. I also don't think my child should be in a public system classroom of one. He is special, to me, but not special in the sense he deserves anything more than the next kid.
That is why home-schooling is an option. I always said I would never home school my child. I've known many people who where home schooled and they are socially retarded. I mean that in the actual definition of the word and not being ugly about it. They are socially slow. They do not know how to interact with people. For the most part, you can be as smart as can be in this day-and-age. If you are socially awkward or a social pariah, you are not going to advance! That is just how it is.
There are so many options these days to socially integrate home schooled children. I also feel this pull to take Z out of school and home school him. That would be me dream job, at this moment. To take care of my child's needs. (Although, I would totally need someone else to teach him math. lol) It goes along with being a stay at home mom though. Although, I feel passionately about this, it isn't something that is possible at this point in our lives. It is my dream though.